Accumulating Fatigue

Numb. Totally numb.

Emotionally drained and exhausted.

Today has been a rough day and it has taken a toll on me. Numbness.

How is it possible that all the occurrences that took place today managed to affect me as much they have? Me?! I’m the person who has become known for being so cool and peaceful. That person who does not get bothered by anything. I deal with situations and move on.

There I was calling friends and family discussing all of the day’s occurrences with them, venting out and trying to make sense  of it all. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make sense of anything but I understood I was exhausted.

I started reflecting on the year that I have had, and once I realized all that I’ve accomplished, been through, and done throughout the year, it all made sense. No wonder I’m so exhausted. I’m burnt out.

I set goals for myself this year. A lot of goals that some might say were unrealistic. I achieved my goals… and more.

Some goals were simple and others were huge. For example:

Read more: I had started slacking in reading so I made it a point to schedule time every day to read. I started reading a book a week, and sometimes 2. I’ve read 47 books since the start of the year.

Write a book: A few friends encouraged me to write a book. I toyed with the idea and started writing. I also scheduled time every day to write. I now have 274 pages of writing that has been reviewed by a publisher with the aim of being published next spring.

Visit one new country every year: I managed to visit two new countries this year and planning a third and possibly 4th country before the year ends.

Try something new, go on an adventure: Trekking in Nepal. Enough said!

Get back in the dating pool: After being single for the most of 3 years for a whole lot of reasons, I decided it was time I get back in the dating game, and date I did. No happy endings but I’m out there giving it a shot.

Move: This really was not one of my goals but when the opportunity knocked, I grabbed it and held on for life. The move naturally made me leave my comfort zone, forced me to go out and socialize and network (not an easy task for me), changed my lifestyle, changed my routines… changed everything really.

As I look back, as I think of all of that, as I realize I did all that and more while also focusing on work in two countries, while facing many challenges and obstacles throughout the year, and knowing what I still have to accomplish until the end of the year, I get a sense of self pride.

Yes self-pride… and you know what? Pride trumps exhaustion.

I’ll continue listening to Sade’s soothing voice tonight and when the sun comes up, I’ll go on with my life, checking more boxes on my list.

I’ll just make sure my goals next year include pressing cruise control and taking it slow and easy.

Note: To all those who been wanting to get more personal and real with my posts, I hope you’re happy now 😉

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