Fear has taken over my life

It suddenly felt like someone threw a bucket of freezing water on my head.

There I was, drinking and smoking in front of one of the drinking holes in Beirut, whilst chatting with a young lady whom I had just met 10 minutes earlier. I don’t even remember her name. This complete stranger said something so profound that it resonated in me and is the trigger to many of the adventures I’m about to partake in.

I’ve always taken pride in myself for being a risk taker, but it’s suddenly become apparent that I really have never taken a genuine risk in my life. I’m so filled with fear that I’ve never really attempted to do anything I’ve dreamed of achieving.

Fear has taken over my life.

My computer is filled with business plans and communication plans that I never executed. My computer has a book that is in its final stages of publishing but I put on hold. There’s a storage room filled with paintings I’ve painted throughout the years, away from everyone’s eyes.

I’m an emotional and sensitive person that I usually do not allow people to see. I pour my emotions into my work and when I share them with people, I feel vulnerable and naked.  I’m also my harshest critic. I have to take a step back and detach myself. Let go.

In the days following that encounter with the nameless girl, I’ve had several conversations with friends and acquaintances that have been so motivating.  It feels like every one of them walked into my life at that very moment to push me forward and help me take the leap.

I now promise myself that I will ignore the fear and take the leap.

To that nameless young lady, I would like to thank you.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s