The Solace of Solitude

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I’m not broken, don’t try to fix me.
It’s not you, it’s me.

The biggest rock won’t change me.
Your tender heart won’t change me.
Promises of a future won’t change me.

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I was a happy child, I still am happy.
It’s not you, it’s me.

Your relentless attention won’t change me.
The comfort of your arms won’t change me.
Memories of our past won’t change me.

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I got my heart broken, and broke several.
I’m not broken, don’t try to fix me.

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I won’t commit, I’m not ashamed.

I prefer the solace of solitude.

The dark cloud is gone

A revelation:  My life has changed.

During the past few months, I’ve been out there socializing, developing existing bonds and I have met interesting characters that may develop into new friendships. These outings were a way for me to go out there to keep myself busy and entertained but I have become grateful to those chat sessions.

I find myself continuously revising the story about myself when I meet people.  The more I communicate, the more present I feel and understand that the dark cloud that has been hanging over my head for years is no longer there.  It’s been difficult to accept the cloud has passed and I convince myself it’s still there. BUT it’s gone. The circumstances in my life have changed.

For years I have been harboring scars from the time of the dark cloud and I’ve been living with my guards up. The wounds no longer sting like they used to. Feeling present, revising my story, living the moment have reminded me of all that is out there.  I feel rejuvenated and liberated.

The dark cloud is gone.