He was stunned when I told him I currently do not have any future goals or plans. He stated that I’m not ambitious and that an intelligent person as myself should not just be floating around life aimlessly. I looked at him and smiled, for how could he understand?
How could he understand that for over a decade I was constantly swimming against a tidal wave in the midst of the perfect storm?
How could he understand that for that entire period, I hated bedtime because my dreams exhausted me?
How could he understand that for the longest time, people used me as an example of what ‘bad luck’ is when they tried to console others?
How could he understand that my own dad consoled my brother by telling him that his ‘strong’ sister was constantly aching, in pain, and disappointed?
How could he understand that when I used to dance the night away, I used to dance to forget and vent out?
How could he understand?
Excuse me while I dance feeling free as if I’ve torn the bandage off,
Excuse me while I shine my happiness onto others,
Excuse me while I forget what pain and disappointment feels like,
Excuse me while I feel blessed for getting a long good night’s sleep,
Excuse me while I appreciate this rare period of peace in my life,
Excuse me while I float in a peaceful sea.