Everything you need to know about the Armenian Genocide

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With ISIS close by and wars occurring in neighboring countries, I continuously am told that Armenians should get over something that took place 100 years ago, and instead focus on current events that need our attention.  It has also come to my attention that many people are not well informed about the genocide. Hence why I felt the need to write up an informative post  regarding the genocide and the importance to recognize it.

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I’ve fallen in love with Lebanon… And myself.

When I first moved here, I’d walk in the city listening to music, feeling liberated and light. I’d force myself not to twirl so that people would not think I was crazy. The big smile plastered on my face and my bouncy walk was enough to let people think I was. I remember asking myself, how long would I feel like this? This feeling must be temporary.

11 months later, I’m walking around exploring random neighbourhoods in the city admiring the old architecture and the charm of every alleyway.

11 months later, I still hold myself from twirling.

11 months later, I still have a huge smile plastered on my face.

11 months later, I still feel liberated.

This country has inspired me to do so much.
This country has nourished my soul.
This country has been good to me.

Day after day, I love this country more and more, and with it I love myself more.

 

Coexisting with a New State of Mind

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It’s not a secret that I would have loved for Lebanon to become secular but unfortunately, this does not seem to be the case. Instead, we see a growing interest and involvement in religion that has been caused by several factors and day after day, we see religion playing an increasingly dominant role in the political sphere. What people believe in has become politics. How people practice their religion has become politics. In short, religion equals politics.

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The Importance of Trying New Things

Ever since I was in high school, I have been creating 5 year plans, which I’d revise according to new circumstances or opportunities. I was a total control freak. I simply liked to envision what my life could possible look like in the future. “Knowing” what the future held for me always made me feel more at ease and a lot more confident.

A few months ago, I found myself without a plan and clueless about where I wanted to head to or what I wanted to do next. Naturally, the control freak in me hit the panic button but I soon realized how liberating this was.  I also remembered that I promised myself to hit the cruise control button this year. 

I am simply floating around aimlessly, waiting for something to appeal to my senses so I’d head in its direction. Continue reading The Importance of Trying New Things

The Solace of Solitude

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I’m not broken, don’t try to fix me.
It’s not you, it’s me.

The biggest rock won’t change me.
Your tender heart won’t change me.
Promises of a future won’t change me.

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I was a happy child, I still am happy.
It’s not you, it’s me.

Your relentless attention won’t change me.
The comfort of your arms won’t change me.
Memories of our past won’t change me.

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I got my heart broken, and broke several.
I’m not broken, don’t try to fix me.

I prefer the solace of solitude over you.
I won’t commit, I’m not ashamed.

I prefer the solace of solitude.

The dark cloud is gone

A revelation:  My life has changed.

During the past few months, I’ve been out there socializing, developing existing bonds and I have met interesting characters that may develop into new friendships. These outings were a way for me to go out there to keep myself busy and entertained but I have become grateful to those chat sessions.

I find myself continuously revising the story about myself when I meet people.  The more I communicate, the more present I feel and understand that the dark cloud that has been hanging over my head for years is no longer there.  It’s been difficult to accept the cloud has passed and I convince myself it’s still there. BUT it’s gone. The circumstances in my life have changed.

For years I have been harboring scars from the time of the dark cloud and I’ve been living with my guards up. The wounds no longer sting like they used to. Feeling present, revising my story, living the moment have reminded me of all that is out there.  I feel rejuvenated and liberated.

The dark cloud is gone.

 

Living Without Social Boundaries

As I was walking down the street the other day, I saw an old lady having a difficult time walking.  She was trying to find a car or a wall that she can hold on to as she walked extremely slowly.  I asked if I could help her. She grabbed on to my arm and we walked together.

She was headed to a nearby mini market to do some grocery shopping. The mini market was around 30 meters away but it took us a good 10 minutes to walk that distance. Naturally, during that walk, I was asked my name, where I was from, how old I was, if I was married, why was I not married and she shared information from her life.

Continue reading Living Without Social Boundaries

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