Tag Archives: life

Excuse me while I float in a peaceful sea

He was stunned when I told him I currently do not have any future goals or plans. He stated that I’m not ambitious and that an intelligent person as myself should not just be floating around life aimlessly. I looked at him and smiled, for how could he understand?

How could he understand that for over a decade I was constantly swimming against a tidal wave in the midst of the perfect storm?

How could he understand that for that entire period, I hated bedtime because my dreams exhausted me?

How could he understand that for the longest time, people used me as an example of what ‘bad luck’ is when they tried to console others?

How could he understand that my own dad consoled my brother by telling him that his ‘strong’ sister was constantly aching, in pain, and disappointed?

How could he understand that when I used to dance the night away, I used to dance to forget and vent out?

How could he understand?

Excuse me,

Excuse me while I dance feeling free as if I’ve torn the bandage off,

Excuse me while I shine my happiness onto others,

Excuse me while I forget what pain and disappointment feels like,

Excuse me while I feel blessed for getting a long good night’s sleep,

Excuse me while I appreciate this rare period of peace in my life,

Excuse me while I float in a peaceful sea.

 

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Turbulence

Four years ago, if you had asked my friends what kind of person I was, they would have told you that I was a control freak, a workaholic, and someone who was extremely busy with life’s flow. That isn’t to say that I didn’t have a social life. I did. I made time for my family and friends. My days were filled with deadlines and my free evenings were full of social events.

One afternoon, on a flight home after a weekend away, it dawned on me that I had the opportunity to drop everything and take a year off. I had been through a tough year  in every sense possible.  I had been wanting to take a sabbatical to do some traveling and learning for a while but never had the courage to do so. It dawned on me, that I was 30 years old, I was done with any financial obligations I had had, and did not have anyone relying on me. When would I get an opportunity like this again?  I thought it’s now or never. Continue reading Turbulence

Fear has taken over my life

It suddenly felt like someone threw a bucket of freezing water on my head.

There I was, drinking and smoking in front of one of the drinking holes in Beirut, whilst chatting with a young lady whom I had just met 10 minutes earlier. I don’t even remember her name. This complete stranger said something so profound that it resonated in me and is the trigger to many of the adventures I’m about to partake in.

I’ve always taken pride in myself for being a risk taker, but it’s suddenly become apparent that I really have never taken a genuine risk in my life. I’m so filled with fear that I’ve never really attempted to do anything I’ve dreamed of achieving.

Continue reading Fear has taken over my life

Accumulating Fatigue

Numb. Totally numb.

Emotionally drained and exhausted.

Today has been a rough day and it has taken a toll on me. Numbness.

How is it possible that all the occurrences that took place today managed to affect me as much they have? Me?! I’m the person who has become known for being so cool and peaceful. That person who does not get bothered by anything. I deal with situations and move on.

Continue reading Accumulating Fatigue

Why I Thanked my Guardian Angel

I was driving home, smile plastered on my face, open windows, enjoying the feeling of fresh wind on my face and the wind blowing through my hair. I just had had a good day.

Suddenly, my car started to twirl across the highway.

“No one crash into me, please no one crash into me” is all I remember thinking.

My car stopped right before it hit the concrete on the other side. I was in a daze. I didn’t know what hit me.

Continue reading Why I Thanked my Guardian Angel

Bad Behavior Example?

Capture

I got into a service in which the driver’s young son was in the passenger seat with his iPod connected to the cab’s stereo playing a Taylor Swift playlist.   Both father and son did not have their seat belts on and the driver was texting and driving.

They were silent for most of the ride until we got to Dora bridge where we picked up an elderly man who must have been around 80 years old.  The man just wanted to get to the Mercedes-Benz showroom which as a lot of you may know, that’s like a 2 minute walk.

Continue reading Bad Behavior Example?

Elie Tahari and Dior meet the Lebanese bus system

There I was waiting for a cab, wearing one my favorite Elie Tahari dresses and one my treasured Dior heels, when a bus came to a halt in front of me. The driver signaled me to hop on. I smiled as I considered it but as I looked inside it seemed like the seats were full. I signaled the driver that it was full. He asked the passenger sitting next to him to move to a different spot.  I hesitated for a second but told myself to stop acting like a diva and get on the freaking bus. I got on and surprisingly good old soul and blues music was playing.

It may not have been the cleanest bus in the world and I may have stuck out like a sore thumb, but I did get to my destination with rhythm and I don’t think I’d hesitate to take the bus again.